i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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