when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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