There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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