I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize