Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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