I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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