I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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