I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize