Apparently you make a good broom.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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