Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize