I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
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Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Boobs are out for the taking
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It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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