Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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