drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize