Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize