Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
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Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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