she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize