I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
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I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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