Your face is a jimmy john
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You left your phone here
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