Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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