I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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