And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
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I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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