And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize