It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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