Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize