omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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