i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize