Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
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Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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