upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think your dad took our porno
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize