Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize