Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

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  (416): is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered?? http://tfl.nu/9big
  Replies (26) Good night (5218) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

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  (281): I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/8oew
  Replies (144) Good night (9939) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test

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  (318): Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test http://tfl.nu/zno9
  Replies (20) Good night (5306) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.

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  (985): she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out. http://tfl.nu/kfuw
  Replies (11) Good night (3432) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?

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  (714): Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex? http://tfl.nu/9pxt
  Replies (11) Good night (4983) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.

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  (780): My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/iiov
  Replies (5) Good night (3549) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.

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  (940): Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car. http://tfl.nu/1zvq
  Replies (8) Good night (720) Bad night (2371) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move

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  (732): 4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move http://tfl.nu/7ba1
  Replies (6) Good night (3829) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.

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  (304): He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE. http://tfl.nu/ltby
  Replies (27) Good night (902) Bad night (3146) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  How did you break your hand eating pizza?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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  (603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz
  Replies (7) Good night (2535) Bad night (681)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's got a legit dose of dude going on

  (240): View more from Maryland

  No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.

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  (240): Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden (202): She's got a legit dose of dude going on (240): No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne. http://tfl.nu/qro2
  Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (1714)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.

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  (540): Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place. http://tfl.nu/p2sn
  Replies (4) Good night (1638) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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  (410): If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina http://tfl.nu/8dig
  Replies (28) Good night (1238) Bad night (2476) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.

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  (860): My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church. (1-860): I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life. http://tfl.nu/n824
  Replies (4) Good night (1950) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk

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  (614): fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk http://tfl.nu/crvd
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt

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