im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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