Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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