do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize