Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize