Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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