your thong is hanging out like whoa
So drunk its hurt
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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