I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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