Is it because I queefed?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize