I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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