I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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