I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
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You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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