you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize