We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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