That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize