Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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  (816): dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink? http://tfl.nu/aysx
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1605) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...

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  (561): i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots... http://tfl.nu/p2m9
  Replies (18) Good night (527) Bad night (2113)
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  (925): View more from California

  He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."

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  (925): He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods." http://tfl.nu/7kxl
  Replies (17) Good night (744) Bad night (2862) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.

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  (773): I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs. http://tfl.nu/fbpk
  Replies (17) Good night (649) Bad night (3334) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel

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  (336): There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel http://tfl.nu/7mru
  Replies (16) Good night (761) Bad night (3307) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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  (864): A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier! http://tfl.nu/9qgj
  Replies (107) Good night (1829) Bad night (5564) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'

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  (253): Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin' http://tfl.nu/fw6c
  Replies (37) Good night (6189) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.

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  (603): nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment. http://tfl.nu/rfmt
  Replies (4) Good night (2110) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah, that sounds like my life.

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  (971): I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed (425): Yeah, that sounds like my life. http://tfl.nu/4i94
  Replies (5) Good night (2072) Bad night (595)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?

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  (308): Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/mlvm
  Replies (8) Good night (1752) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru

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  (904): usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru http://tfl.nu/ym2q
  Replies (4) Good night (718) Bad night (246)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"

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  (716): I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!" http://tfl.nu/0j2g
  Replies (14) Good night (1344) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse

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  (651): I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse http://tfl.nu/8kf4
  Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die

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  (775): Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die http://tfl.nu/wat0
  Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (108) Order T-Shirt

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