I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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