I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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