Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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