YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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