My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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