i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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